Believe It Or Not, You Live In A Gay World!

Here's a thought.
Most homophobes and otherwise ignorant straight people are blissfully living in a world painted by gay creators. While the world fails to recognize or even criticizes the sexual preference of gay men and women, they are mostly oblivious to the fact that most of their world has been influenced by these same people in a much bigger way than they can possibly imagine.
Right from the designers who define the fashion for the world, to the artists who cultivate culture to now the CEO of the world's biggest company - Apple's Tim Cook, the gays rule this planet.
This thought sometimes makes me think of a possible human evolution towards a better human race in which homosexuality would no longer be a taboo but would actually be a norm. If the people who are shaping our society have more number of gays than the world average, it only goes to show that those at a higher plane of live and conscience show a greater inclination towards alternative sexual preference.
So, if you are straight, stop being a total ass and start thanking the gay community for making your world a better place to live in. If you are gay, you already are awesome, continue being that :)

The Gay Dictionary!

It is funny how words and phrases completely change in the gay parlance. 'Ass' stops being a nasty bottom of a man and emerges as a thing of beauty (even 'bottom' loses it's abysmal meaning and changes into a worth adjective, a common noun and a desirable attribute of a person all at the same time!) 'Asshole' stops being an insult but rather becomes a pleasure point.
I say, we gays have a way of changing everything bad into something constructive and a thing of beauty while the proverbial straight world does the opposite - the way they changed 'gay' from being a synonym of 'happy' to a denotation of 'bad' is well known.
In the gay world, words assume funny meaning when you compare them with the straight contexts. No one frowns at you at a gay gathering when you say, "I wish to fuck you!" (at the most you might be tagged a 'despo'). Walk up to a gay guy and tell him that you're so annoyed with him that you feel like spanking him and he would shy away from in front of you with a sheepish grin on his face.
I have run into these conversational caveats and pitfalls quite a many times. Someone complements you on your blog and your smooth voice and you tell them proudly that you are versatile and the next thing you know is that they expect you to bring the condom as well as the lube :P

Gay RAK!

RAK = Random Acts of Kindness

In the gay world the best way to make a sweet fellow queer smile is to give a random compliment on how sexy his body is or how big (or sometimes beautiful) his cock is! No matter who the other person is, you've sure made his day (no matter who you are!)
I collect a lot of karma points myself by awarding random footprints to strangers on the gay portals. I tell them how sexy they look, how 'cute' the tshirt fits them, how I love it the way their hair fall over their face. Trust me, more often than not, I really mean it when I give a complement. But, it stops right there! I mean the complement, I don't mean that they come right away to my crib and fuck my brains out. Hey, even that is understandable, we're all gay men and this is how we 'connect'!
I wonder at times, why is is so important for gays to immerse themselves in sex all the time (and I don't intend to be hypocritical, I think of sleeping with every hot guy I see on the street!) Where does the overdose of sex leads us? Well, for starters, it leads us to cozy beds decorated with warm bodies of lusting hot guys :)
As far as the gay RAK is concerned, I would continue to pass on the fairy blessings and spread my love (point is, you should do the same - I could use some love too remember :P) This is probably the best gift you can give the gay community, get them out of their insecurities about how they look and give them a random complement the next time you meet them in a party, a street or on your favorite networking site!

Origins Of A Hetrophobic Man!

I'm a big fan of QAF (that's Queer As Folk, for the less initiated) and I can swear by Brian when he says,

"There are just two types of straight people in this world - those who hate us on our face and those who hate us behind our back!"

I'm not a hater! I mean, mostly I just pretend to be nice and jolly and laugh along all those fag jokes but I just know for a fact that the straight people don't get me at all! And I don't blame them, because I do not get them! I just can't understand how someone would fondle a couple of oversized mammary glands rather than appreciating a perfectly shaped chest, how can anyone even like the sight of a vagina! Call me GAY, call me a FAGGOT but, I'm never doing it with a girl even if you pay me a lotta money (well, a lot depends on how much though :P).
So, when I, an open minded guy with a broad minded approach to sex, can detest the though of making out with a person of opposite sex how can I blame those bigots, those homophobes to be understanding? I have to give it to them! They just can't understand me and I don't blame them at all. I do have a twinkie of a request though, stop pretending that you understand! Stop saying, I'm pro-homosexuals because darling, let's face it, you are not. If you were pro-homosexuals you would also be sucking on a man's bulge rather than stealing a share of your baby's diet from her lactating mother! Tell me that you just don't get homosexuals but you are ready to let us live the way we want to in a world that still is the prerogative of the straight people.
I was reading a blog which had a few stories about straight people sharing their perspective about the gay life; let me be nice by just saying that they were overtly phony! A straight man talking about gay life is like a person born in the lap of luxury in a first world country talking about the hardships that a poor farmer in western karnataka goes through. At best he can offer compassion for his brethren only in this case a gay man does not seek compassion and believe me, once a gay guy walks out of his door a proud man, he does not even seek acceptance! We know how to live better than anyone else in the world.
Heck, we even call our parades 'pride'!

"I'm With Place Tonight, Wanna Hook Up?"

Haven't we all heard these famous lines! Well, not heard, read most of the times.
Whenever someone pings me "I'm with place tonight, wanna hook up?", I invariably gulp down some more vodka and take a look at the profile decorated with those golden 3 letters (actually, they're more like green not golden, but who's bothered about the color anyways) - sex! Now, unless the guy looks extremely hot and irresistible, chances are that the beds and condoms would not be employed, no lube summoned and since there's not much to say after falling from a sexual fantasy peak to the abyss of 'he-is-not-my-type' reality, there would be no replies to that message.
Let's see what went wrong!
You might be a wonderful guy, you might know amazing tricks that would make having sex with you an experience to remember, you might be great at conversations - so great that you can seduce any guy you want when you talk to them! Or worst of all, you might just not be photogenic! The moment you sent that random guy on PR (GR) that message, you killed a great opportunity of actually being able to convey all these remarkable things about you! Do you see where this is going? We are gay men, we want an overdose of sex (at least most gay men do which makes me think at times that I'm dating a straight guy!) and just like any other thing we want, sex comes to those who can earn it. Don't make a fool of yourself by sending those blunt lines (again, if you are super hot, kill the conversation and just say "Sex? Now?" - but if you were super hot you might not have to ask for sex, you'd just have to give your address as a reply :P).
Start a humble and engaging conversation first. Say a little 'Hi' (and be sure to say more than just a 'Hi'!), complement the person/profile and then after they've discovered that you are a person they might be interested in slip in the proposition. The person might still not be interested in you but at least you would know you gave your best to satiate those bubbling hormones :)

Disclaimer: This post does not target men who are targeting desperate men. If you are going after sex starved desperate guys, just jump ahead and say "I'm with place tonight, wanna hook up?" and you would get what you want!

How Many Bielibers Are Gay?

Justin Bieber won 'Male Hottie' award at the Teen Choice Awards function! It is a known fact that the beilibers own twitter and he beats anyone in popularity, hands down. All the little girls are crazy about his Bieber hair, cute smile and charming voice but what do you know, he has a massive male following too and not all of his male followers are gay :P
Having said that, there are a lot of gays who worship JB! I think that should be obvious too. He has the perfect 'twink' structure and if you ask me he'd make a better porn star than an artist (hey, who says porn stars are not artists?) If he took his shirt off at the award function after getting the 'male hottie' there would be more guys fainting at the function than those frail girls. I don't want to go gaga over JB and how he is the perfect gay fantasy because it would be IMO and I personally know at least 5 gay men who hate poor Justin (but what do they know about cute guys - they're into bears :P)

Speaking of bears, you might want to check out this movie called 'Bear City'. I've not seen it yet but a friend tells me that it's really good.
PS: That friend has good taste in movies. Can't say the same thing about his taste in men!

So, before the bears hijack this post, let me tell you that we gay men love JB no matter what. More than anything else we would love to see him declare that he, in fact, was confused about his sexuality and is actually gay :)
Till that happens, all that we want is for him to turn into this fine handsom young man who would have girls and guys drooling over him. We want him to keep singing, be healthy and gay!

Fag Jokes Anyone?

What's the best fag joke you've heard? Well, trust me, if you're not a fag yourself chances are that your jokes are a little last century. We fags have the best fag jokes to tell. Period. Let's face it, we know our asses much better than you straight guys now don't we (and we sure have seen much more of it than anyone still stuck in the world of boobs) :D
Here's a bunch of good ones though a few of them are a bit racist :P

PS: If you have a good fag joke to share please add a comment :)

Is Your Best Friend Homophobic?

I've seen enough straight men now who scorn at pink, sneer at queens on the streets, swear by heavy metal and yet somehow, magically, happen to know all about the gay characters in Glee and what's happening on Queer As Folk. In their private rooms they would check out passionate love making gay sex scenes on youtube and tell you how much they got offended by the sexual content of Milk! We already have a word for them - (no it's not hypocrite) homophobes!
As much as I pity them, I think these people are a threat for the development of a modern society which has freedom of thought as it's fundamental principle. So, what's the solution? If you ask me, I'd want them to be given some divine heads to turn their screwed heads around :P
If you want a 'straighter' solution, I think the answer is exposure (no not that 'exposure' you faggot :D). Expose these people to different culture, open societies and free thought. Question them often about their inhibitions and reservations about sex and sexualities. The more you get to talk about these issues with them, the more open their minds would become. Let them ask questions about your sexual life, your sexual and social preferences and the cosmetics on your bathroom shelf. The conversion rate is slow but effective and you don't lose a good friend.